


Missed Connection

by dahdeemohn



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: (sort of), Airports, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, Awkwardness, Crushes, Forgetfulness, M/M, Stress, Stuck at the Airport, Unreliable Narrator, awkward everything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-19
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2018-09-18 15:46:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9392114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dahdeemohn/pseuds/dahdeemohn
Summary: When an employee from the branch of the company that Sami used to work at gets stranded at the airport, he's more than happy to be of assistance and offers his place to crash at for the night.But then Sami remembers a bunch of stuff that he kind of pushed out of his head.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a prompt that I came up with while talking to smacktalkerskywalker about someone getting stuck at an airport overnight due to a missed flight, and as it turns out a friend-of-a-friend lives in the city the airport is in.

_I love New York Ci~ty  
Oh yeah, New York Ci~ty!_

Sami barely heard his phone ring out over the sound of running water, and turned the faucet off to answer the call. A dishtowel was hastily fetched while, with his least damp finger, he tapped the ‘answer’ button.

“Hang on, Cass! Give me just a sec!” he called out loud enough to hopefully hear while wiping both hands, then hung the towel back up and brought the phone to his ear. “Hey buddy! How’s it going? To what do I owe the pleasure of a call?”

“Heya Sami, not bad. I’m not interuptin’ nothing, am I?” came the thick New York accent from the other end.

“Huh? Oh no, just taking care of some much neglected dishes after this past week. This project they’ve got us working on has the department stretched pretty thin, y’know? Wish you guys were here to help out.”

“I know, I feel ya. Me ‘n Zo miss havin’ you around, the team’s not the same without Red Leader,” Cass snorted. “But hey, I don’t got much time, there’s a bit of a situation I’m really hopin’ that you can help with.”

“Sure, anything!” Sami exclaimed, making his way to the sofa and instinctively opening his laptop, ready to troubleshoot whatever crisis the Brooklyn office was currently undergoing. “Lemme just login, and-”

“Nah, Sami it’s not an issue like that. Look, I got this big favor to ask, like you’re pretty much the only guy I’d feel right requestin’ this kinda thing.”

“Alright, what’s going on?” The laptop was set back down onto the coffee table.

“So one’ve our guys is stuck at O’Hare airport right now; actually, you remember Finn at all from before you left? Think you might’ve met him like...once or twice.”

“Uh…” Sami scratched at his beard. “Maybe? The name rings a bell.”

“Irish kid with dark hair. Kinda quiet.”

“Oh! Yeah, I think so.” Sami pursed his lips, glad that they weren’t on Facetime so Cass couldn’t see him as he sat consumed in thought. “Geez, what happened?”

“He was out in Seattle for a meeting and had a layover in Chicago that was supposed to be like maybe two hours. Anyway, the flight got cancelled and he can’t get another one ‘til the morning, **an’** someone jacked his wallet like an hour ago, so he can’t use any credit cards to get himself a hotel room. You think he can crash at your place jus’ for tonight? Like I know it’s a lot to ask an’ all, but he’s a good guy and needs a break.”

“I’d be happy to!” Sami cleared his throat. “To help! Happy to help. I can head over now to go pick him up, but it might take me a bit with traffic this time of day.”

“Great! You’re the best, man. I’ll make it up to you next time we get together.”

“No need to do that.” Shoes now slipped on, Sami grabbed his hat from off of the table and the keys from off their designated hook and opened the front door. “Your word’s good enough for me. If you say someone’s a good person, they’re a good person.” 

“Thanks a ton. I’ll text you his number and let’im know you’re on the way.”

“Great. Catch you later, dude.”

“You too.” They hung up, and Sami made his way down to the garage, getting into his car and starting the engine before letting out a deep breath. If Finn was who he’d suspected, they’d briefly met at both the holiday party and the good-bye dinner the company held just before the transfer to Chicago; it was very a multi-cultural office so of course there was a chance that this could have been some other “Irish kid with dark hair”. But between what Sami could remember from that night and all the photos that Enzo posted on Instagram with the very same outlandishly handsome co-worker, it was safe to assume he did, in fact, know Finn in some capacity. If he did, in fact, know him, he needed to make very quick work of burying the tiniest crush that he’d harbored from the few times they interacted. Admiration, maybe, not a crush. Definitely not a crush. Sure, Cass and Enzo had joked that one time that it was a crush, but it wasn’t that at all.

According to Google Maps, I-90 was unsurprisingly all fucked, so he went around it as best he could and was relieved for having the 3/4 full tank of gas. A drive that should have taken 15 minutes tops took 45, but that wasn’t surprising during the outskirts of rush hour. He kicked himself for not grabbing the train instead, but it would have also been congested and delayed, and it sounded like things were already bad enough for this guy to add on that particular stress as well.

It felt like the signs for O’Hare’s parking couldn’t come soon enough and yet simultaneously approached too soon, and Sami pulled into the Kiss ‘n’ Fly to wait. While the engine idled, he check his texts and found one from Cass that supplied Finn’s number, and for several moments he debated between calling or texting to say he’d arrived, electing to call because that was probably the courteous thing to do in this case. 

After two rings, the phone was answered by a very soft voice that Sami did, in fact, recognize. “Hello?”

“Hey, is this Finn?” Sami’s throat went a little dry. “Hi, it’s Sami. Cass sent me to rescue you.”

“Oh, hi! I’m terribly sorry for intruding like this-”

“N-no, don’t be! It’s fine, life happens, y’know? If you’re ready, I’m out in the Kiss...uh, Lot E. I’m In front of Lot E. It’s a red Honda Fit.”

“Great, I’ll be out there in just a few minutes.” It wasn’t even seconds after the call disconnected that Sami loaded up the Instagram app and found Enzo’s account, then scrolled through the pictures there and in almost no time found one of him and someone named Finn, tagged with the username @finnbalor. And then another. And then one of Cass and Finn and then another of the three of them together. This was probably, if he had to take an educated guess, Finn. The same Finn that he met and chatted about The Force Awakens with over 6 months ago, the same Finn with bright blue eyes and a shy smile, the same Finn he was picking up to have spend the night at his place and the same Finn that right was knocking on the car window and almost gave him a heart attack.

“HI!” Sami yelped out, his phone thrown to the passenger side floor of the car, and retrieved.

“Hello! Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you!” Finn apologized, both of his hands thrown up in front of him, as if to show that he wasn’t a threat. Without giving himself a chance to let his breathing settle, Sami unbuckled himself and practically leapt out of the driver’s side, careful not to knock Finn over as he opened the door.

“There’s plenty of room in the trunk, let’s put your stuff back there,” offered Sami, words tumbling out quickly as he made his way behind the car and opened the hatch door’s window. “Uh, some room, anyway. Still haven’t moved everything in yet, I guess.”

“All I’ve got is this carry-on,” Finn chuckled and gingerly placed his duffle bag next to a bike and atop a few miscellaneous cardboard boxes. Once they were back inside the car and buckled in, Sami could practically hear and feel the seconds being counted down before he found himself looking over at the passenger side of the car, brought on by a quiet, “Thank you. I really appreciate you going through all this trouble.”

“No trouble at all!” Sami grinned, and did his best to keep his swallowing from being audible. “I mean like...god, I’m really sorry about everything that happened to you. That really sucks.”

“Well, I’m lucky to still have my passport and phone on me, so it’s really not as bad as it could be.” Finn smiled, not a hint of dissatisfaction or insincerity in his tone. “Nice bike, by the way. Is that a Kona?”

“It is! It was kind of my first big purchase when I got out here. I’ve been riding along the Illinois River on the weekends, which is why it’s still in the trunk. You bike?”

“I do! Not as much off-roading as I’d like to, but it’s tough in the city. Do a lot of hiking as well, when I can.”

“I hear that. Y’know, we do a big company retreat once a year, I wonder if I can abuse my power and suggest we stay at like a ski-resort when it’s off season.”

“That’d be a blast!” It seemed as though Finn had more to add to the topic, but his stomach rumbled loudly and his face dropped for just a moment. 

“Are you hungry? I don’t have a lot of food at my place right now but I was thinking of getting Chinese tonight.” Sami blurted out. “I mean like we can get something else, if you wanted.”

“Chinese is fantastic, I’m just afraid I can’t yet pay you back, though.” Finn’s head was ducked a little, likely out of embarrassment, and Sami couldn’t quite see it, didn’t dare look long enough to see it, but he could have sworn that maybe he’d caught him blushing. 

“Don’t worry about it, you’re my guest for tonight. It’s all on me.” The car was shifted into drive, and Sami kept his eyes focused on the road the entire time. Memories of his last month in Brooklyn were sifted through, of how busy he’d been getting ready to move to Chicago because of the promotion, and of the holiday party. It was hard to remember Finn’s name because there was just so much going on at the time, but he definitely remembered talking to him. At first Sami had thought that he was someone’s date, someone’s husband or boyfriend that tagged along, because he’d never seen him before at the office and there was really no way this guy was single. 

Still, nevertheless Sami gathered up the courage to approach him that night and compliment his polka dotted socks that were barely visible under the cuff of his pants. And honestly, he didn’t know why he did that, you probably weren’t supposed to do that to another adult, but it was an office that prided itself on being quirky so...he went for it. And he remembered the way Finn’s face lit up, how he went from seeming overwhelmed and withdrawn to being able to chat away, and it was a really magical moment. As it turned out, he’d just started the week before and they were co-workers but in different departments, except not for much longer, since Sami got the news would be gone in the next few weeks.

They hadn’t talked much after that, didn’t really have the chance. Said ‘hi’ a few times when passing one another with a smile and eventually a bit of a giggle, and the last time was that good-bye dinner where they got to briefly discuss travelling and how they both agreed how important it was to do, but then a few other co-workers moved into the conversation because it was Sami’s last night and everyone wanted a turn to talk. And for as social as Sami was, as much as he subscribed to “the more the merrier!” outlook and would truly miss them all, he didn’t want to stop listening to Finn about the sights in Japan or Germany or the UK. Or in general. It didn’t matter, though, because a few days later he drove over 12 hours from Brooklyn to Chicago, and between now and then managed to mostly put Finn out of his mind. Well, except for every Instagram and Facebook post that he saw him tagged in, but Sami had barely logged into any social media accounts in months.

“So do you feel settled in yet?” Finally the silence was broken, Finn’s voice cutting through Sami’s thoughts.

“I mean, sort of! I’m still not completely unpacked, but so far so good! I miss everyone, though. I think that part’s the hardest. How about you?”

“Brooklyn’s certainly been a trip. Not exactly a whole other world from Boston, except maybe more to do at night and a less confusing rail system.”

“Oh god, that’s for sure,” Sami laughed. “Chicago’s is pretty easy to get the hang of as well, thankfully. Like, if you’re ever out here again.”

“Good to know.” Finn giggled, maybe as a nervous tic, but to Sami it sounded wonderful and he ignored the resurgence of familiar sensations from a while back. “Y’know, it sounds like they all miss you, too.”

“Oh?” That was a surprise, and Sami tried to laugh it off. “I mean like they’re probably joking. I’m kind of...kind of a mess. And I can be high strung at times. I don’t mean to be but I am? That’s OK, though, I get it.”

“I dunno, seems genuine to me. They say you were the heart and soul of the place. Must’ve been why the trusted you to manage a new office.” Again, no insincerity, and Sami swallowed hard.

“Huh. Maybe.” The car stopped at a red light and Sami looked down long enough just to pull up the restaurant’s number. ”There anything you like? Or don’t like? For food? It’s all standard affair, but the chicken teriyaki’s pretty good. ”

“I’ll eat anything. Something extra greasy would be much appreciated after this day.”

“Got it.” Since the light was still red, Sami called and placed an order for a pu pu platter for two and extra fried rice, and from the corner of his eye he could see Finn smile. “Alright, they said 20 minutes and that’s about as long as it’ll take to get there. You’ll be good until then, right?”

“I promise not to keel over in your car.” The light turned green and Sami hit the gas after looking both ways.

“I’d hope not. I’m supposed to take care of you tonight!” As soon as those specific words were out of his mouth, Sami bit the inside of his cheek and fumbled with the car radio, turning up the volume knob when he landed on a Bad Religion song. There were periods of silence on the way to the restaurant, and Sami struggled between wanting to fill in those gaps and feeling guilty for being troublesome when Finn just had such a long day; just as he resigned to keeping quiet, Finn asked when he liked most about Chicago, and Sami was more than happy to ramble off a whole list. “I’ve always wanted to move here, so when we had the opening, I went for it.”

“Seems like everything came up Sami, yeah?”

“Seems it,” nodded Sami as he parked the car. “I’ll be right back, OK?”

“Sure.” Finn leaned his head up against the window while Sami jumped out of the parked car and into the restaurant, told the person behind the counter that he was picking up, and waited for them to bring his order out. From the lobby he could see Finn, his eyes closed as he rested, and it was so difficult to not stare; he remembered how tough it was when they first met to not spend too long looking at how long his lashes were or those blue eyes or soft looking lips. 

God, he was really starting to remember all of it now.

As he scraped a hand down his face, the person behind the register called him over to tell him that the order was ready, and Sami rushed over to hand his credit card to them, heart racing as though he’d been caught doing something bad. He signed his name on the receipt, left a tip in the jar, and head back outside and into the car. “I’m back!” He announced, then cringed when Finn stirred.

“Smells heavenly.” Finn sat up and stretched.

“It’s just a bit longer back to my place,” Sami started, turning his blinker on and merged into traffic. “I don’t have much to drink, I don’t think. I might have some wine? Do you wanna stop by somewhere and pick up anything?”

“I’m fine with whatever. Honest! Anything you’ve got is good enough for me.”

“Alright, just let me know if you need something though, OK? Like I can swing by the corner store.”

“Sami, I’ll be fine. Your hospitality has been more than enough, really.” A hand was gently placed on Sami’s arm, goosebumps forming under the contact or maybe from the way his name was said, but it was gone almost as soon as it arrived. Ultimately, it was probably for the best since he hadn’t really met or spent time with anyone in all the months he’d lived here, and he didn’t want to get super weird with an acquaintance. 

The remainder of the car ride was quiet, which would have felt painful if Sami didn’t need to actively concentrate on being a fully functioning adult and all the trials that came with doing that. He parked the car in the garage and led Finn to the front door with the large paper bag clutched tightly in his arms. Once they were inside and the lights were on, it dawned on Sami how ill-equipped he was to have someone over: the sink was still partially full of dishes, the kitchen table was totally covered in junk, boxes still loitered about various corners, and a basket of unfolded laundry sat in the livingroom in plain view. The bag was set down on the counter, and as he pulled out various food containers, Sami felt more and more self-conscious about his negligence on keeping tidy thanks to work. “Hey, I’m really sorry that everything’s kind of a mess. I left in a hurry to go get you, and I’m normally not **this** much of a slob, but work’s been so busy and-”

“Is this the new Archie series?” 

“Huh?” Sami whipped around and saw Finn with an issue of _Archie: Afterlife_ in his hand, his hooded gaze drifted upwards for a moment and then back down at the cover. “Yeah, it’s...it’s not exactly new, but it’s really good.”

“I’ve heard great things. Have you read the new Sabrina? The horror one? That one’s incredible.”

“No, but…” Sami shook his head. “I’m sorry, do you read comics?”

“I do!” Finn beamed, and Sami’s eyes turned to saucers. “Yeah, I mean I do more Marvel and DC, especially the Batman universe. We talked about it a bit at a while back, y’said y’liked my Batman tie an’ I think that’s how we got on the topic.”

“Oh. Right.” Turning back around, Sami focused on the food, opening each container to see what was inside and definitely not thinking about Finn actually remembered things about him, things said in passing (and apparently his habit of complimenting articles of clothing that Very Attractive people wore); much more startling was just how much he’d successfully willed himself to forget. “So hey, I just gotta wash a few plates and some forks, but after that we can eat.”

“Perfect.” The faucet was turned on and drowned Finn’s voice out. Sami readied his dishwand, sticking a handful of utensils under the running water and scrubbed at them, zoning out as he did so; he hadn’t noticed when Finn moved to stand next to him, and nearly jumped when, his voice now so much closer, he asked, “Would you like me to dry?”

“If you want to.” Sami moved back and inch and gestured to the towels that hung from the sink cabinet’s handle. “Uh, they’re right there.”

“Great.” Finn reached down, his hand grazing against against the leg of Sami’s pants for hardly even a second, and Sami stood up straight, his body stiffening while his mind chastised, demanding that he behave normally. Utensils were handed over, then dishes, and Finn dutifully wiped down each one, then brought them over to the other side of Sami, where the food was.

“Uh, as you can see, the table’s a bit of a disaster. Wanna take this all to the living room? I can put a movie on while we eat.”

“Dinner and a movie! I’ve lucked out tonight, yeah?” Finn laughed and Sami nodded, his mouth impossibly dry. “I mean, aside the whole wallet gone missing thing and the flight being cancelled.”

“Sure, yeah. Make the best of a bad situation, right?” Sami had tried to joke, but his voice cracked a little and he cleared his throat. Together they brought everything over and set it on the coffee table, and Sami turned the TV on while Finn began to pick through the various cartons, booting up Netflix and scrolled through the options. “So what’re we feeling?” 

“Something mindless. Any action films?” 

“Well,” Sami browsed the corresponding category. “How about Predator?”

“I’d be down for some _Ahnahld_.” Finn’s impersonation had Sami giggling.

“Well we could do some Terminator as well. Or do you want to come _bahk_ to that?” Sami smiled when Finn started laughing as well.

“Predator’s great, let’s do that.”

“Predator it is.” The film was selected, and just as Sami started to dig through the selection of food, his phone vibrated against his leg. 

**Cass**

> _hey, just checking in to make sure you managed to get finn and that everything’s alright_

Amidst a good mental flogging for not alerting Cass sooner, Sami typed up a response.

> _Yeah, sorry! I forgot to get back to you.  
>  He’s here now, we’re about to watch a movie_

> _glad to hear it  
>  did you have any trouble recognizing him?_

> _No, I remember him now_

> _great! thanks again for your help, he’s a really good guy. I’ll let you get back to the movie._

> _OK!_

Sami stared at his phone screen, wondering if it was OK to ask Cass questions, but he didn’t know where to start and dismissed the idea entirely when he realized what a creep he’d be if he did that to his guest. Instead, the phone was set on the coffee table, and when Sami looked up, he saw Finn busy texting someone as well; throughout the the film he continued to glance at his screen, eyes darting up and then back down. There was someone probably really missing him, Sami reminded himself, and focused on the movie as much as he could.

“Uh, hey,” started Finn, and Sami looked over at him. “I’ve gotta use the restroom, where might I find it?”

“Down that hall, first door on the right.” Sami’s hand extended and pointed, and Finn stood up to make his way over in that direction. Once he heard the door shut, Sami got up as well and head back into the kitchen. The two fortune cookies that came with their food were grabbed from off of the counter and a lone bottle of wine was pulled down from its place atop the fridge, mulled over, and just as Sami was about to put it back his thoughts were interrupted.

“I’m so sorry to be a bother, but could I also trouble you for a- ah!” Finn’s eyes laid on the bottle. 

“A drink?” 

“Yeah, seems you had the right idea.” 

“Lemme just…” Glasses were fetched from an adjacent cabinet, and without asking Finn took hold of both of them and took them into the living room. Sami followed close behind, taking a seat at the other end of the sofa, uncorked the wine and began to pour it.

“Classy blokes we are. Wine and Predator. I’ll drink to that,” snorted Finn, while Sami weighed whether or not this was actually a good idea and opted to grab a glass anyway, because one glass wouldn’t cause any harm. Finn took a sip and sighed contentedly, the back of his head sinking into the cushions of the sofa. “This is much appreciated, Sami. I really can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for me.”

“Don’t mention it, Finn.” Idylly, Sami traced the rim of his glass with his thumb before he brought it to his lips. It was brought down again and he stared at the contents within, gathering courage. “Kind’ve a shame we never got to hang out before I moved, huh?”

“Y’know, I think Enzo mentioned that we all get together at some point, but you were on your way out so it made coordinating anything a real headache.”

“Too bad.” Sami held a breath and then let go. “But like, if you’re ever in the area again or get stuck, feel free to hit me up. Like, I _hope_ that you don’t get stuck again, but just in case.”

“Yeah, or if I get transferred out here, you’ll have to show me around town.” Finn’s attention was on the movie, and Sami took the opportunity to sneak a few long glances at him. “Like if that were to ever happen.”

“I can totally play tour guide! Heck, we can totally bike around the city together.” Insisted Sami with a hard nod, an explosion in the film rang out in the background causing a pause between the two. “Wait, are you?”

“Am I what?” Another sip was taken.

“Getting transferred?”

“Well no, but anything could happen, right?”

“Of course.” And with yet another sip, Sami turned to watch the remainder of the movie. While the glass progressively got emptier and emptier, it became increasingly difficult to resist all urges to try to pry information about Finn from out of Cass; it would have been simple enough to play it off as though he was anxious about having a stranger staying at his place, but Finn really wasn’t a stranger and Sami knew this well. It hadn’t dawned on him just how much effort he’d put into forgetting about him until they were face-to-face again, and as posture on the sofa became more relaxed with every passing minute and there was an accidental brush of ankles or knees, his pulse quickened and more memories made themselves impossible to ignore. 

The specifics of the good-bye dinner were especially potent now, when they were away from everyone else for a short while, how Finn said he was looking for a list of recommendations for where to grab breakfast on the way to work and Sami was eager to share his favorite bagel places. People had been starting to come over so it was really tough to keep track of the conversation at that point, and at the time he’d brushed it off probably out of utter disbelief, but now he recalled it with crystal clarity: Finn had asked if they could go to one together before he moved, Sami responded by apologizing and saying he didn’t just have the time, and then they were separated by the crowd of everyone there. He hadn’t seen Finn after that.

Had he…

Had he turned down a date?

“Finn,” Sami started, his mouth acting seperate of his brain, and he winced when Finn suddenly turned to look at him. 

“What’s up?”

“I was just wondering-” His heart thundered in his ears. “Uh...did you...you ever find a good bagel place?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, I checked out a few near the office that you’d recommended. Bagel Hole’s probably my favorite.”

“Great. Glad to hear it.” His brain was so hazy, tongue too heavy to keep talking, so instead he let himself zone out on anything that wasn’t present company and stared hard at the uneaten fortune cookie that sat on the coffee table. It took two attempts to sit up, but once he did he snatched it and fumbled with the wrapper, because any moment he was going to screw up and say something really stupid or creepy and make his guest uncomfortable. Because it couldn’t have been a date that he declined back in December, it just couldn’t have been, and even if it was they lived too far away and their startup was bursting at the seams with business, it was too busy and it _just couldn’t have been a date that he was asked out on_. 

The wrapper finally tore, Sami silently gave a small prayer of relief, and he cracked the cookie open. Carefully the fortune was tugged out, and he tried not to bark a laugh at the message on the tiny strip of paper: **A good evening is one spent in good company**. 

“Hey, I...I don’t want to be rude, but I’m super tired and I think I’m gonna crash early.” Sami feigned a yawn, although exhaustion had certainly settled into his bones. 

“Oh, not a bad idea. My flight’s at 9, so I really ought to try to sleep as well,” Finn responded, and Sami couldn’t be certain since his mind was all over the place, but there was something cool in that tone of voice.

“By the way, if you want to take my bed, I’ll take the couch. I don’t have the guest room set up or anything.”

“Sami, I couldn’t do that!” Finn gasped out, sitting up straight now. “You’ve already been so nice, I just couldn’t!”

“I insist, though! It’s a bit cooler in the bedroom, and I don’t have work or anything in the morning, so you probably need it more than me.”

“No, your sofa is plenty for me.” A hand reached out and squeezed Sami’s shoulder, and it took every ounce of slipping willpower to not reach up and place his own over it. “Off to bed with you, I won’t keep you up any longer now.”

“Would you like a pillow at least?” Sami stood up and stretched, and it seemed as though Finn zoned out momentarily. “Finn?” 

“Nah, I’ll use one of these right here.” He held a checker print decorative pillow between his hands.

“Alright. I’m gonna set my alarm for 6. That should be early enough for breakfast and to get you to the airport, right? Or do you want me up earlier?”

“That should be fine.” Finn nodded, then reclined back so that he was vertical. “Good night, Sami. Thanks again for everything.”

“Anytime, dude. Night.”


	2. Chapter 2

Despite utter exhaustion, it took Sami much longer than expected to finally fall asleep. Several times he had to stop himself from getting up and going back to the living room, to insist that he and Finn switch because it the bedroom was much cooler; it was such a stuffy night and that’s why Sami tossed and turned and kicked the blanket off onto the floor, and surely Finn would be so much more comfortable if they switched. Maybe he could text him? Was it weird to text someone from in the next room? What if Finn was already asleep and the alert woke him up?

Maybe he should just get up and talk to him? It was a very warm night, after all. Stifling, even.

Still, Sami remained in bed, telling himself that he’d get up in just another minute, and then finally did get up when he really needed to use the restroom; like a dummy, he’d booked it out of the living room so quickly that he hadn’t bothered to brush his teeth or engage in any other pre-bedtime rituals. Quietly, he padded down the hall and into the bathroom, hastily taking care of all business he had in there, and then once the toothbrush was set down he hit the light and walked out. As he stepped through the doorway, he mentally repeated _don’t look don’t look don’t look_ , and yet still he paused and turned his head to the left, towards the living room. 

From where he stood, Sami could see the couch and even make out Finn’s form, his face illuminated by the light of his phone as he seemed to be focused on texting someone, and again he reminded himself that someone out there had to be missing him right now. Yet, Sami continued to observe, just for a little longer despite mental self-flagellation because this was probably the last time he’d ever see Finn again, at least one-on-one, and he ignored how small and pathetic he felt for being like _this_ ; for lacking simple courage, for not taking willing to take chances with people. He allowed himself one last glance, one last benign daydream, then spotted Finn’s bare leg that had untangled itself from under the blanket, and away Sami scurried back to his bedroom.

* * *

The shrill chirps of the alarm woke Sami up, although he hadn’t any idea what time he actually fell asleep, part of him suspecting that he hadn’t at all. He thought about pressing the snooze button, but elected to get up instead since the only reason he’d set an alarm in the first place was to help out another person; he reminded himself that the “other person” was Finn, and couldn’t decide if he was upset or relieved with himself that he was already trying to shove him from out of his memory bank yet again. 

A very long stretch and rapid succession of yawns later, Sami found himself up and begrudgingly out of his bed, and the subtle aroma of coffee hit his nostrils and urged him forward. The living room was now vacant, but noises could be heard from the kitchen and he could only hazard a guess as to where his guest presently lurked. Turning the corner and holding a breath, Sami peeked in and caught sight of Finn reaching above the sink with two coffee mugs in one hand and shutting the cabinet door with the other, which would have been perfectly fine and utterly harmless had he been wearing more than a just a pair of light grey gym shorts. Sami thought of retreating and locking himself in his room, was certainly Not Staring at all and was definitely not paralyzed by any of this, but before he could make good on his plan to run away forever, Finn turned around and gave a bright smile that was somehow more breathtaking than his backside. And frontside. And everything in between.

“Morning! Hope it was alright that I made coffee,” Finn greeted cheerfully, and Sami swallowed hard. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Sami somehow managed to squeak out, then cleared his throat. “Thank you. Coffee’s great. Gonna definitely need it this morning.”

“Right,” nodded Finn, which Sami returned before wandering back into the living room so that he could collect himself. The remote was picked up from the coffee table and the TV was turned on, and Sami flipped to the Weather Channel, something innocuous enough to allow him a few brief moments of zoning out, only to be interrupted by “How do you take yours?”

“Cream, no sugar.” The response was recited automatically, as he’d said so many times at various coffee joints on his way to work, and as his mug was set down in front of him and Finn took the seat on the other end of the sofa he bit back hundreds of questions that he wanted to ask so very badly. “So uh...how’d you sleep?”

“Well, you were certainly right about how warm it gets out here.” Finn chuckled.

“Hey, I tried to warn you.” Sami wanted to laugh back, but it came out like a dry wheeze. He scratched at his beard, trying not to pick at it. “Anyway, breakfast. I don’t have much here, if you wanted maybe we could go out-” The words caught Sami off guard as he uttered them, and he quickly shook his head and grabbed ahold of the coffee mug. “We could go get some. I know a few good places around here, they’re not as good as Brooklyn but-”

“I-” Finn started, his eyes fixed to the contents of his mug. “I still need and shower and I really don’t want to miss my flight, not after everything from yesterday. Can I maybe take a raincheck?”

“Of course.” Oh god, of course. Of course, Sami reasoned, because Finn was probably missing someone back home and wanted to see them and.

And it was never a date that he’d been asked on in the first place, was it? It was ridiculous to get his hopes up over someone that lived so far when they both had such busy lives, it was ridiculous to be this enamoured by someone he never had a chance with to begin with. _Of course_. A small sip to see how hot his coffee was, the tip of his tongue slightly singed, but that was fine. “Y’know, I think I’ll go grab a few things from the corner store to eat.”

“You sure about that?” Finn looked up, his eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, it’ll give my coffee a chance to cool down, and like...can’t send you off on an empty stomach. You go do what you need to do, I’ll be back.”

“Alright,” Finn agreed, despite sounding apprehensive. Without any fanfare, Sami got dressed and head out, buying cereal, milk, and a bag of presumably stale cinnamon raisin english muffins, among other things; for every moment that his brain supplied him with either anything self-deprecating or an over-analysis for how to make this situation work, he willed himself to refresh the mental cache and fully blank out. When he got back, he could hear the shower running, but didn’t think about who was in it; he didn’t think about Finn’s damp hair and that impossibly dazzling smile as he handed over an english muffin and showed off what else he’d picked up for food.

The car ride over to O’Hare was quiet, but each time Sami wanted to say something, anything, his tongue was too heavy and it felt like sand had filled his mouth. Occasionally Finn’s leg twitched, bouncing up and down for a few seconds before it settled again, and Sami so desperately wanted to ask if everything was OK, but knew better. It wasn’t his place. 

They pulled up into Lot E, Finn quietly remarking that “Kiss ‘n’ Fly” was a cute name, and Sami simply nodded while he continued to push and push everything as far down as possible. The car was parked near the entrance and the engine idled while Finn looked over his belongings.

“Sorry, just want to make sure that I definitely have everything.” The duffle bag was unzipped and Finn practically stuck his head inside of it, moving things and examining it. As he did that, Sami opened his wallet and sorted through his cards, then pulled out a Starbucks card and held it towards Finn, who looked over at him. “What’s this?”

“In case you need a drink or food. There’s like $20 on here, and I never use it, so you should have it.” Sami offered a smile as he waited for Finn to finally take it.

“I can’t...Sami, you’ve done so much already-”

“Please, it as a gift and I really don’t have any use for it.” There was a pause before it was gingerly plucked from out of Sami’s fingers, and he exhaled once it was no longer in his possession. Finn looked down at it for a few seconds, as though he was studying it front to back.

“Honestly Sami, I really can’t thank you enough for how gracious you’ve been this entire time.” He looked back up, seeming to glow, and Sami’s chest ache. 

“It’s really been no trouble. If you’re ever in the area again, let me know?” Oh fuck, if that didn’t sound hopeful, and Sami could practically taste how pathetic he must have appeared.

“Will do. I’ll try to make it up to you, next time we’re in the same place.”

“I look forward to it.” And moments later, after goodbyes, Finn was gone and that was it. 

Sami waited until he disappeared past the revolving door before he rest his head on the steering wheel, and after his breathing stabilized the car was shifted into drive. Not a single thought or memory crossed his mind on the ride back, the road his only focus until he was back in his apartment and face first on the sofa. He wondered if he could get away with spending his entire day just like this, resting and recalibrating his defenses until he felt like a human being again, but as his phone vibrated from within his pocket and he remembered that he was always on call, it was begrudgingly retrieved. Without even taking a look at the caller ID, he brought the phone to his face and grumbled out a “Hello.”

“Sami? It’s Cass, how you doin’?”

“Hey. I’m fine. Just got back from dropping Finn off.” Sami rolled over onto his side and stared blankly ahead.

“Great, glad to hear. You guys have a good night?” There was something guarded about Cass’ tone of voice, and Sami couldn’t tell if he was about to be teased.

“It was fine.”

“Just fine?”

“Yeah, how else was it supposed to go? He stayed overnight. I brought him to the airport. He was very nice and didn’t make a mess, and as far as I know didn’t steal my stuff.” Sami knew that he was starting to sound defensive, but he didn’t know how else to respond, and was in no mood to be messed with. But Cass took some time to respond, and it was grew unbearable. “And that’s pretty much it.”

“Alright, just wanted to make sure...Iunno.”

“Don’t know what?” More silence. “Cass?”

“Well...yanno, it’s just before you left. Finn asked a lot about you, an’ me an’ ‘Zo thought about how to maybe get you two together.” With each word said, Sami’s heart beat uncomfortably faster. “Thought maybe somethin’ like a double date could work? But y’kept turnin’ down plans, what with gettin’ ready to head off. Like I get it, but. Yanno?”

“Oh.” It felt as though a spark had ignited in Sami’s brittle nervous system, and within no time engulfed him entirely in an inferno. “Yeah, gotcha. That’s...that’s too bad.”

Cass continued to talk, but his words turned to static as Sami tried to focus on anything that could possibly ground him, to keep everything from crashing down atop him. A small slip of paper on the coffee table caught his attention, and instinctively he snatched it to take a look at it; it was a fortune, but not his own from last night, and he realized that it must have been Finn’s. As the words printed on it were read, he covered his mouth with a hand to keep any noises from tearing out of his throat.

**Don’t be afraid to smile, you never know who’s falling in love with it!**


	3. Chapter 3

Days passed by, normal as ever, and Sami threw himself wholly at work. There were several times where he’d be sitting at home late in the evening, hovering over Finn’s number and drafting up one message after another, only to delete them and place his phone far out of reach. As time flowed on, the ache gradually dulled into numbness, and then into some forgettable sensation drowned out by being too busy to allow it to exist.

On a crisp morning with the smell of autumn’s approach carried by a gentle breeze, Sami pulled his bike from out of the Fit’s trunk and stood it upright. As he set the kickstand down, the phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled it out and glanced down at the screen, ready to ignore the sender until he’d finished his ride. But Finn’s was name displayed on it with a photo attachment included, and Sami mistyped his password at least twice due to haste before finally unlocking his phone. The photo loaded, a paperback copy of _Afterlife with Archie_ , as well as a copy of _Archie vs. Predator_ positioned next to it. A few ellipses flashed, a message was received:

**Finn**  
_Check out what I found at the comic shop around the corner from me!!!_

More ellipses appeared and disappeared, and Sami felt his heart in his throat.

**Finn**  
_The Predator one reminded me of you :)_

It took no time at all for Sami’s palms to go sweaty, and he tried to swallow but found his mouth too dry. In just two sentences, Finn had managed to undo all of the hard work at building walls and defenses, sending them crumbling into dust. He blinked a few times, his thumbs acting before his brain could catch up, and typed out:

_haha, nice!_

That should have been the end of it, Sami thought, but the message was almost instantly marked as ‘Read’ and there were more ellipses.

**Finn**  
_How are you?_

Sami dropped his phone on the pavement, and struggled to pick it back up. He responded that he was doing well, then took and sent a photo of his bike and wrote that he was about to take a ride. Finn’s answer was a bit slower this time.

**Finn**  
_I’ll let you go, then. Have fun!_

The phone was shoved back into his pocket and the bike was wrenched out of the trunk. Sami used the volatile cocktail of anguish and anxiety that steadily brewed in his stomach to propel himself forward until his legs were so sore he couldn’t walk properly for the next few days.

Snow had arrived in late October, which lead to conversations with Cass and Enzo about getting together over the holiday break. It was decided that the pair would come to Chicago for New Year’s celebration. In the interim Sami made several Ikea trips to make sure his apartment was adequately furnished. 

Contact from Finn was infrequent, but still always managed to catch Sami off guard every single time messages were received. Mostly it was small talk, about movies or comics or swapping cat videos, but sometimes Finn would ask about how Sami was or what he’d been up to. Without fail every time Sami would respond with something about how busy he was. And without fail, every time, it killed the conversation and left Sami hurt and angry with his own self for-

This. Whatever it was. Because it couldn’t be coincidence that he was utterly self-sabotaging these efforts, could it? He’d tell himself that he wouldn’t do it next time, that maybe he’d be the one to initiate the conversation. The results were for naught, however, as he’d also tell himself that he wasn’t brave enough or worthy of anyone’s time, or that he was actually as busy as he made himself out to be. And wasn’t it better this way? To keep things at arms’ length and be professional, to avoid allowing anything to progress beyond his control? His dream was to be in Chicago, he’d said it for years, and he couldn’t dare think of anything that would make him want to deviate from what he’d spent so long working towards.

But there were a few desperate late nights where he’d scroll through his friends’ social media feeds, missing them and missing what he could be a part of. And sometimes he felt so weak that he considered seeing if the New York office would have him back. The longing usually dissipated with the rising sun, yet a few stray particles always remained lodged in the far corners of his mind.

As New Year's Eve drew closer, excited messages and calls from Enzo became the new norm. Sami felt a little lame for not knowing about where the best bars were for them to swing by and celebrate at, but Cass insisted that it wasn’t a big deal. At the very least, they should be able to see the fireworks from Sami’s small balcony, and hopefully it wouldn’t be covered in snow and ice so that they could actually stand out on it. He also crossed his fingers that there wouldn’t be any sort of snowstorm that’d either delay their flight or impede his ability to retrieve them from the airport, and frequently checked sites that boasted being able to predict the weather up to over a month ahead of the date (and drastically changed every single day).

Thankfully, through fate or channeling divine intervention or luck itself, the weather was absolutely clear on the morning that Enzo and Cass were scheduled to arrive. Sami buzzed around his apartment, rearranging the throw pillows every 5 minutes while intermittently checking the fridge an equal amount of times to make sure that he had an ample variety of La Croix seltzers to offer. He thought about picking up champagne but Enzo would probably want something malty like Jaegermeister. They could always stop by the corner store together and figure it out later.

He continued to check the time, excitement so intense that he felt his insides practically vibrating. Sure, he’d missed Cass and Enzo, but the full depth of just how lonely he’d been without them around hadn’t been realized until now. Eventually, he gave up on sweeping the entire apartment for a third whole time and elected to head towards the airport instead; he’d be an hour early, but there’s be enough there to occupy his attention that it wouldn’t be too painful.

In order to amp himself up another notch, the Beastie Boys playlist was selected and Sami knocked on the steering wheel to the beat of _Root Down_. By the time he pulled into O’Hare and parked, he was practically bellowing out the lyrics. He jogged inside and found the Starbucks, placed an order and made himself comfortable at a counter. The first order of business was to try to catch up on the pair’s social media feed, since otherwise he’d be in for a very long day of thorough explanations of what everyone had been up to. He scrolled quickly, adding a ‘like’ here and there when it seemed appropriate. His heart did that obnoxious thing where it skipped a few beats when he saw a photo with Finn tagged in it, which happened many times over. 

As casually as Sami could muster, he took a sip of the gingerbread latte and glanced around. Of course, not a soul paid him any special mind, so on Instagram he pressed on Finn’s name and pulled up his profile. Shame radiated off of him as the photo in the top lefthand corner was selected, and coincidentally it was a picture of the window of an airplane.

“Huh,” Sami remarked out loud to no one. Of course, it was the holiday season so photos from flights were certainly not unique at all, but according to the timestamp it’d been posted two hours ago. The pang of guilt that shot through his chest made him close out of the app, and for a while he lost himself in _Tap Tap Fish_ to settle his nerves (while trying to ignore the irritation of never having gotten any of the Valentine’s Day event items).

Apparently, the game provided the perfect distraction, and he hadn’t realized just how much time had passed until a text notification popped up at the top of the screen from Cass that announced their arrival. He closed out of the app to respond, but Cass sent more before Sami could even finish his own message.

**Cass**  
_I wanna give you a head’s up rn. Enzo’s a knucklehead._

_He brought a friend along. Told me that you knew he was doing that  
and that you were cool with it._

_And then fessed up on the plane that he never told you_

_I’m real sorry, man_

“Aw fuck,” Sami whispered under his breath, wondering if he still had an air mattress or if they’d need to pick one up before they got back to his place. He tried to ignore the dread that tingled in his spine over something unaccounted for in their plans -his plans- which really wasn’t unexpected when dealing with Enzo’s impulsive tendencies. Whatever. Cass had probably already torn into him either way, and it probably wouldn’t happen again. He responded that it was fine and that he was waiting for them at the Starbucks. 

Minutes felt like hours. They probably needed to get their stuff from the baggage claim first, and that would take a while. Sami tried not to stew, tried not to let the idea of an unaccounted for new presence to sour his attitude in the slightest bit. It’d be fine, he needed to get better at meeting new people. The cardboard latte cup was picked at, and he angrily dwelled on the fact that he hadn’t brought a reusable cup and that he was contributing to the decline of the environment by making more waste. 

And somehow, in a roundabout way, that was also Enzo’s friend’s fault. 

“WELL, WELL, WELL,” a distinct voice hollered, and Sami looked up and whipped his head around. “IF IT AIN’T RED LEADER HIMSELF.”

Sami stood, and before he had time to react a body collided with his own and bleached blonde hair was all he could see. “Hey Enzo,” he laughed.

“How you doin’, babe?!” Enzo was immediately everywhere all at once, fiddling with Sami’s hat and patting his back during a crushing hug. Suddenly, everything he’d been upset about didn’t seem to matter anymore.

“I’m alri-” Sami had started to say, looking up to see Cass approach and greet him as well; however, he stopped mid sentence, not because he saw Cass, but because every word he knew in English, French, and Arabic was forgotten and replaced by white noise.

Because at Cass’ side was Finn, with a smile so luminous that it rivaled the sun.


	4. Chapter 4

“I’m doing alright!” Sami was finally able to say, tearing his eyes away from Finn’s smile and forced himself to pay attention to Enzo. But then he needed to say hi to Cass, and surely that meant looking at Finn again and he just couldn’t bring himself to do that. However, his hastily fashioned plan to spend the next few days and maybe also forever ignoring that Finn existed were obliterated before he had the chance to put them into effect.

“So hey, hope it’s a’ight Finn tagged along. He didn’t have no New Year’s plans, can you imagine that? Can’t have no one bein’ by themselves, that’s just bad juju to start off the year, yanno what I mean? An’ like you know him, right?” Enzo’s eyebrows were raised in question, and Sami could practically feel Cass’ eyeroll from several feet away.

“It’s fine,” Sami assured, but his gaze drifted upwards once more and he found himself eye-to-eye with Finn. He swallowed hard and repeated, “It’s fine.”

As they all walked back to Sami’s car, he was relieved that Enzo mostly dominated the conversation while Cass occasionally interjected. Cass took the passenger seat since he absolutely needed to legroom, but the look he gave Sami as they buckled up was almost apologetic; it was an odd thing to do, given that Cass always rode up front, and Sami shrugged at him. But as he looked in the rearview mirror and watched Finn adjust his seat belt, he silently prayed for painless death. Perhaps a car accident where the passengers would be unscathed, but the driver’s side was mangled and there was no hope for survival. 

He was sure that someone would give him a wonderful eulogy about his kindness and generosity and how hard he worked. Hopefully a few people would cry. No one would ever have to know the tale of how he embarrassed himself because he couldn’t hide his meticulously repressed crush while simultaneously ruining every effort to communicate with said individual. Surely that part would get left out.

The car was shifted into drive and they head back to Sami’s apartment, deciding what to do about dinner and if the gang wanted to run to the corner store for more snacks or liquor. Everyone insisted that whatever Sami had at home was probably plenty after he started to list off just how many varieties of Doritos he had to offer. He warned that the store would close around 6:00pm, but there were still several hours to go until they would need to worry about that.

“OK, but if we get Chinese we need to order it now,” Sami pointed out. “It’ll be a few hours before they can get it ready.”

“Can we order from the same place that we got it from when I stayed over?” Finn chimed in.

“Yes!” Sami quickly exclaimed, then cleared his throat. “Yeah, if you wanted, I guess. I mean there’s other places, that one’s just closest. It might not be the best, but-”

“It was fine!” Finn cheerfully insisted, and when Sami glanced up in the rearview mirror he could see that bright smile gleaming back at him. Part of him wanted to protest and treat his friends to something a bit higher quality. It wasn’t that the food was bad, they just deserved so much more after flying all the way out. But Finn looked hopeful, like this was some sort of treat, and Sami ignored that in favor of refocusing on the road ahead.

Besides, Finn smiled a lot, Sami could confirm this. He’d shamefully gone through enough pictures at some of his lower points and seen a lot of those smiles, but could never bring himself to confirm friendship requests or follow back. It was rude and shitty and he knew that it was simply another link in the chainmail of his “I’m too busy” excuse armor. So like the coward he was, he kept his distance, watched and fantasized about one day not worried about getting hurt by things beyond his control. Like feelings. Like the exact feelings he was doing his absolute best to quash altogether when he remembered **Don’t be afraid to smile, you never know who’s falling in love with it!** , which he only remembered because he let that particular fortune sit on his coffee table for weeks. He spent a long time Not Thinking About It. About whether or not it was a hint of any sort.

So. Sami had avoided that restaurant altogether since then. But Finn was still in his backseat smiling, and now there wasn’t the barrier of phones or work or 800 miles between them. There wasn’t a good reason to deny him this that wouldn’t be rooted in selfishness.

“Alright,” Sami nodded to himself and still avoided looking in the mirror altogether. “If you liked it, that sounds good to me.”

They reached the apartment and Enzo and Cass were given a tour of the place while Finn busied himself with the cat Sami was fostering. He was teased about his choice in decor, things like punk rock posters and postcards that were framed and hung up. When he told them that he was paying the same price for a two bedroom that they were paying for their shared two-room studio, Cass gave a low whistle. 

“We ain’t movin’!” declared Enzo hostilely.

Sami left the pair in the guest bedroom so that they could settle in while he occupied the kitchen and started to gather up snacks and drinks. Carrots, peppers, celery, and something that was sold as ‘vegetable dip’ were taken out of the fridge and set on a cutting board, and he began to chop them into smaller pieces. There was a loud **goddammit!** from the other room, and shortly after Cass peaked his head around the corner and told Sami that Enzo forgot to bring his e-cig so they were just going to run out and pick up a pack of smokes.

“He still hasn’t quit yet?” Sami’s brow furrowed, and Cass shook his head.

“He’s try’n, but yanno ‘Zo. Shit gets stressful.” 

“Alright, you want me to come along and show you where to go?”

“We’ll manage.” Before he finished the sentence, Enzo was tugging at Cass’ arm and pulled him along. “Text me if you want us to pick anything up.”

“Will do,” snorted Sami as the pair left in a rush, the door slamming behind them. Left alone with the vegetables and his thoughts, Sami requested that his Amazon Echo play Andrew WK in hopes that it would it quell nerves and leave only excitement. In no time, he was bobbing his head, mouthing the lyrics and started to dance in place. 

“Need help?” Finn asked from the doorway, and Sami froze in place.

“No, I’m all set, thank you,” he responded without looking up. There was a quiet pause in the conversation. The vocals of ‘Can You Dance With Me’ were suddenly much too loud, and Sami had to physically will himself to lift the knife and continue to cut.

“Um...I’m really sorry about...” Finn trailed off, and Sami finally did turn to look at him. He was leaned up against the doorway, rubbing his arm and eyes on the floor and looked uncomfortable, making Sami’s chest ache. “I didn’t know that Enzo didn’t tell you. He made it seem like it’d be fine if I-”

“What?!” Sami interrupted, not wanting to hear more of the insecurity he was witnessing first hand and knew he was most likely responsible for. “Oh, no. Finn, it’s fine! I’m happy to have you here! We’re gonna have a lot of fun,” Sami grinned, trying his best to seem relaxed. “You want a drink or anything? Feel free to dig through the fridge!”

“Maybe in a bit.” Finn’s gaze flicked upwards, still not seeming entirely at ease. Sami set the knife down altogether and turned around entirely so that he was facing him. A few more seconds passed, Finn biting down on his bottom lip and Sami trying not to watch. There was some hesitation, but Finn spoke again. “So, how have you been?”

“I’ve been-” Sami was about to say ‘busy’; it was his default answer. It was his security blanket, his shield. It was what he recited, how he always responded to all Finn’s questions. In truth, it didn’t mean anything. It was a dead end. Somehow, someway, Finn looked as though it was exactly the answer he’d been anticipating. 

And just then, Sami realized how exhausting that must have been to hear. How this charming person that he genuinely liked was reaching out to him, and how time and time again he was slapping that away for no reason beyond being unwilling to expand beyond a comfort zone. Frankly, Finn seemed like he deserved much better. Sami shook his head. “Great! I’ve been really great! I’ve settled in, as you can see. Biking and hiking when I can, been thinking of taking up skiing this year as well. Uh, I recently found some good bagel places, too. Not as good as anywhere Brooklyn, but what can you do?”

“Oh, that’s fantastic!” Finn lit up, now standing taller.

“Yeah, it’s fun. And uh...actually, I could use an extra hand. You mind helping me arrange these?” Sami hitched a thumb over his shoulder, pointing at the vegetables and the platter next to the cutting board.

“S-sure!” Stuttered Finn, relocating from the doorway to Sami’s side. While Sami cut, Finn carefully placed them around a container of dip that sat in the center of the dish.

“So,” Sami scratched the back of his neck. “How’re things with you?”

“Well, kind of wild, actually.” Finn giggled, sounding nervous. It was a wonderful noise, and Sami’s face grew warm. Their shoulders were practically touching while they worked together, and Sami tried to not sway along too much to the music to avoid unnecessary contact. As Finn waited for more vegetables, he clenched and unclenched his hands, fingers stretching out like they were seeking something to grasp onto. Then, just above a whisper, he murmured, “I’ve got something I’d like to talk to you about, if that’s alright.”

Sami’s mouth went dry, and he could feel that he was under scrutiny but he couldn’t look up, couldn’t stop focusing Finn’s hands. He was just about to encourage Finn to continue, but the front door swung open and hit the wall adjacent to it. 

“We’re back!” Enzo called back, both his and Cass arms full of large brown paper bags.

“Great!” Sami called back, his entire body now tense. Both Cass and Enzo passed through the doorway and set the bags down on top of kitchen table, digging through them and taking a few bottles out.

“Hey’a, by the way, Finn-man?” Enzo cleared his throat. “You tell Sami yet?”

“Tell me what?” Sami looked behind him at Enzo, then back at Finn.

“Well,” started Finn, seeming to weigh the words before saying them. “Do you happen to remember the promise you made, that you’d play tour guide for me if I were in the area?”

“Of course! I can take you around tomorrow, if you want. Some places might be closed since it’ll be New Year’s Day, but like we’ll find plenty to-”

“No, Sami, I...” Finn laughed. 

“The Chicago branch offered ‘im a position!” Enzo exclaimed, and Sami’s eyes went wide. Sheepishly grinning, Finn gave a small nod to confirm.


	5. Chapter 5

Everyone looked at Sami like he was supposed to react in some specific way, like there was a betting pool or predictions or something that had been discussed beforehand and he wasn’t included in on the conversation topic.

“OK,” was what he said, plainly, like he wasn’t choking back a full-blown anxiety attack. He really would have appreciated a moment or two alone to process this, but that wasn’t an option and they were all still. Looking. At. Him. Somehow, instinct managed to kick in, as if to save Sami from literally, actually dying a physical death right then, and he plastered on a huge smile. He reached out and gave Finn a hearty slap on the back, exclaiming, “That’s fucking great, man!”

“Thanks.” Finn winced, and Sami took his hand back, not meaning to strike so hard. He was about to apologize, when Finn continued. “I haven’t actually ah...accepted it yet.”

“Oh.” Sami held a breath, not prepared to deal with two extremes on the emotional spectrum so quickly.

“Which is part of the reason that I wanted to tag along with Cass and Enzo. I have to give my decision on the t’ird, but I was hoping to see more of the city before packing up everything that I own and moving. Again.”

“I can show you around,” Sami reiterated, trying his damnedest to sound casual, and Finn nodded. “Yeah, it’ll be great. Really great.”

When they finished with the vegetables, the platter and the four types of Doritos were brought out to the living room, and the gang argued over which horsemen of the apocalypse each flavor represented. Food was ordered, and video games were decided on. Mario Kart was booted up, and for a while the only tension involved the insults that were hurled at one another. Eventually that got too vicious and they moved onto Rock Band, since early enough in the evening that they could get away with using the drum kit. Sami took the vocals since no one else would touch them and he knew all of the songs, anyway. 

Cass pointed out that there was now a Rock Band 4, but Sami argued the merits of Rock Band 2 and how they tried to fix what wasn’t broken with Rock Band 3; his refusal to update to the PS4 was also a factor to take into consideration. Enzo and Finn worked together on a setlist, with suspicious snickering and a quiet “no, it’s fine he’ll love this” enough to raise an eyebrow. They selected characters and difficulty settings, Enzo determined to play the drums on Expert regardless of whether or not that was a good idea.

“Hold on, lemme just do something real quick,” Sami went through the options menu and put on No Fail Mode, which earned a snort from Cass.

“Hey man, fuck you!” Enzo indignantly whined as Sami returned to the character selection screen. They started, and _Maps_ was the first song to play. Sami rolled his eyes, and wasn’t surprised when it was also the second song as well.

“Goddammit Enzo,” he grumbled, which was apparently the funniest reaction ever because Enzo was howling at his own handiwork. 

“What’s wrong with Maps?” Finn leaned over asked, close enough that his cologne wafted into Sami’s nostrils.

“It’s a fine song on its own, it’s just the literal worst Rock Band song,” Sami explained during a break in the vocals.

_Ace of Spades_ and _Give It All_ came next, followed by _Maps_ again. The risk for another _Maps_ somewhere in there was nigh, and Sami considered exiting out and making another setlist, but Enzo assured him that this was the last one. 

“Alright, fine,” Sami conceded as the next song loaded up. When _Everlong_ displayed, he wish he’d stuck with his original plan backed out. Had he not put on No Fail Mode, he’d be able to use the excuse that the drums would be too hard for Enzo and they should pick an easier song. But that wasn’t the case, and with Finn sitting right next to him on the sofa and their knees touching, Sami began to sing out _Hello, I’ve waited here for you_...

_Everlong_ the room joined in. Still so close that a whisper was perfectly audible, Sami heard Finn remark, “Oh, I love this song.”

“Yeah,” Sami responded, and soon trying his damndest to not choke on _Come down and waste away with me_ when he could hear Finn singing along as well. The rest of the lines were muscle memory at this point, so he drowned out everything else around him and just barely passed the vocals.

“Geez, Sami,” Cass shook his head when the results showed up on the screen. “You a bit rusty there, pal?”

“A bit,” he admit. Among the teasing and jeers, his alarm went off, which was his signal to go pick up the food. “Hey, why don’t you all make yourselves at home while I grab dinner.”

“Would you like some assistance?” Finn asked as Sami put his hat and jacket on and got ready to head out.

“I’d appreciate it,” Sami responded truthfully. Without a word, Finn dressed himself in peacoat and scarf, and Sami accidentally said “that’s a nice coat” out loud once they were outside.

“Thank you,” Finn grinned ear-to-ear. 

“You know,” Sami cast a glance up at his apartment’s windows and at Enzo and Cass’ silhouettes, “It’s really not that far from here, and it’s a nice night. Like, for winter. Would you mind if we walked?”

“No, not at all.” They began to head in the direction of the restaurant, at first briskly and in silence, but the pace gradually slowed as Finn took his time to observe the everything around him. Eventually, they stopped at a footbridge, resting their arms on the railing while observing the traffic on the road below and part of the city skyline before them.

“It’s a really great place,” Sami said quietly, catching glimpses of deep introspection written all over Finn’s face.

“Seems it,” Finn returned with equal parts uncertainty in his tone. Cars in a rush to get to their destination drove under them, the bridge causing the sounds of their motors to echo loudly and reverberate. Sami wished he knew what to say, where to even begin and wondered if he should just start apologizing for being...him. His thoughts were interrupted by, “Hey, Sami?”

“Yeah?” Sami’s heart felt like it stopped when he met the intense gaze aimed at him.

“Do I bother you too much?” asked Finn, his bottom lip slightly tremoring after he asked and was promptly sucked in.

“No!” Sami nearly shouted, turning his whole body to face Finn. He placed a hand on his shoulder and firmly gripped it, desperate to convey sincerity. “No, oh god. Finn, never. Not once.”

“Well it’s just, whenever I’ve tried to talk to you, I can never really tell.”

“I’m...kind of a mess. Definitely a mess. And an asshole! I’m such a fucking asshole, and you’re such a nice person and…” Sami trailed off, not sure what to make of the bewildered expression he was the recipient of but unable to think about it, either. Thinking hadn’t done him any favors so far, anyway. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry about how I am and if it seemed like...if I’ve been brushing you off-”

“Sami, it’s fine,” Finn attempted to interject, but Sami shook his head.

“It’s not fine, though!” 

“You’re busy! I...I get it!” Finn’s voice was now elevated as well.

“No, I’m just scared!” Sami blurted out, not realizing the words had left his mouth until they hung heavy in the air. He squeezed his eyes shut and let go of Finn’s shoulder, shoving the offending hand into his pocket. “We...we should go.”

Sami opened his eyes and was about to keep walking, but Finn had grabbed his arm and prevented him from moving. “Sami,” he said softly, “What are you afraid of?”

“How much time do you have?” Sami barked out a laugh, and then sighed. “I...don’t know. Being a disappointment? Taking chances?”

“You took a chance to move here, didn’t’cha?”

“That’s different…” Sami averted his gaze, now frantically waving his free hand to try to illustrate his point. “It shouldn’t be but. But it is! And-”

“I like you!” Finn blinked several times, his mouth ajar, as though he was processing what he said. Sami’s heart raced, and he searched Finn’s face for any sort of explanation for what ‘like’ even meant. The grip on his arm tightened, but only slightly, and he could feel the hand that grasped him trembling through the fabric of the jacket. Finn’s head hung, and his eyes were fixed firmly to the ground. “I- Everyone likes you, Sami. Everyone says nice things about you, even if you find that hard to believe. I don’t think I’ve met a single person that’s expressed anything other than praise for you; your work ethic or your personality.”

“That’s a little hard to believe,” Sami quietly admitted.

“It’s true, though. Like Cass and Enzo always say these wonderful things and talk about how much they miss having you around. And…” Finn swallowed hard. “And I’ve really come to like you as well. And I keep...I keep thinking that maybe. Maybe you like me, too. Enzo certainly makes it seem like that’s the case.”

Sami groaned at that. “Enzo’s _really_ good at keeping things to himself.”

Finn chuckled, but only briefly before his tone grew somber again. “It’s alright if you don’t, but you make it so hard to tell. You seem interested one moment, and then it’s as if you can’t be bothered the next. And I’d just like to know if I shouldn’t...”

“Shouldn’t what?” Sami gently asked, bending at the knees enough so that he could try to see Finn’s face. It took every fiber of his being to not reach under Finn’s chin and tilt his head upwards or to cradle his face. “Shouldn’t talk to me?”

“Yeah,” Finn tremored out. “It’s fine if you don’t want me to. No hard feelings. But I’m not sure I can keep up with this anymore, s’all.” 

“Finn, I’m really, really sorry for how difficult I’ve been.” Sami gave a small smile and grazed arm of Finn’s peacoat with his fingers. “I really, **really** want to keep talking to you.” Finn looked up, his expression open and unguarded, and Sami’s smile spread wider. 

“You sure?”

“More than sure. And if you still wanted to cash in that rain check to grab breakfast, I’d be very happy to. Uh.”

“Go out for coffee?” It may have been Sami’s imagination, the gap between the two seemed to shrink considerably.

“Yes, that exactly. I was trying to think of something clever about redeeming a rain check, and I...this right here is a really good examples as to why I’m bad at holding a conversation. I’m sorry.”

“Are rain checks even a thing anymore?” Finn giggled nervously and bit his bottom lip.

“We’ll figure that out after we bring the food back. It’s definitely gotta be ready by now and the guys will probably get super mad if we don’t get it to them soon.”

“You don’t think they have enough Doritos to gorge themselves on?” Finn asked as they continued their trek, their arms and shoulders bumping against one another as the proximity between them narrowed. Bare knuckles brushed against a gloved hand, and Sami’s mind raced with a million questions. He opened his mouth a few times to say something, anything, desperate to learn everything about Finn that he could, now that it seemed as though he had permission. And he wondered where to even begin, if it was too soon to make plans for breakfast or…

Oh god, was it even supposed to actually be a date? A _date_ date? The word “date” was definitely not uttered once.

“Ah, Finn, hold on,” Sami stopped moving, feeling that he’d misconstrued everything and was ready to implode for allowing himself to hope. “Wait.”

“Sami, the food,” Finn looked at him and started to laugh, but it died down as soon as it started when they made eye contact. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“What did you mean by ‘like’? When you said that you’ve come to like me?” 

Finn’s face dropped. “Hey, I said if you weren’t interested-” 

“No, I am! But, I don’t know if you meant just…” Sami grasped at the air. “Like as being friends? Or, ah.” At this point, Sami had grabbed his own hat and taken it off, wringing it between his hands in front of him; like if he twisted it enough, the words would be squeezed out of it and said on his behalf. He felt his eyes begin to water and exhaled heavily. “I’m really attracted to you, OK? And I want to get to know everything about you as a person because you’re great, but oh god Finn if it’s just friendship you want, I can’t lie to you and say that I don’t want more than that. So if that makes you uncomfortable at all, I get it and I won’t be offended.”

“Sami?” Finn finally spoke up.

“Yeah?” 

“May I see your hand for just a moment?”

“Huh? Sure, I guess.” Sami let go of the hat with one hand and held it out towards Finn, then proceeded to further expand -in great detail- upon his insecurities, while simultaneously assuring that he could handle being just friends. It wasn’t until they started walking again, which Finn took the initiative on, that Sami felt a tug on the same hand he’d held out moments ago. When he looked down, he saw Finn’s fingers linked with his own. “Oh,” was all he managed to get out.

“It was a lovely speech, mate. Truly.” Finn smirked, squeezing Sami’s hand. “And I appreciate the head’s up.”

“So you _like_ like me, right? I’m not making that up?” Sami flinched at his own words, for how pathetic he must have sounded right now.

“If I wasn’t falling for you before, I sure am now,” teased Finn, but Sami still didn’t look convinced. “Yes, I like like **like** you very much. I’m quite infatuated with you and have been for some time, to the extent that I’d rather not get into it because I’ll embarrass myself badly.”

“O-oh?” Stammered Sami, his face feeling hotter than a furnace. “Oh boy. This is a lot.”

“Is it? Shit, I’m sorry, I read it wrong.” Finn eased his grip, his fingers slipping away from Sami’s. Without hesitation, Sami latched back on and held tightly, keeping Finn’s hand in place.

“No, this is perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wait, they don't love you like I love you maa~aaaa~aaa~aaaa~aaaa~aaaaaa~aaaaa~aaaps WAIT


End file.
